Super Smash Soccer!
by Hoogiman
Summary: Some people play some soccer. You must have an IQ lower than 74 to read this story. I'M WARNING YOU! Match five up!
1. Writing Club vs Team Goodie Two Shoes

Super Smash Soccer!  
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.

**I **

(or alternatively, IIIIV)

'_Luigi sat in a small room in the Smash Mansion, along with Snake, Jigglypuff, Ness, Nana and Popo. Master Hand had locked them inside the room for hours. Or it felt like hours for the inhabitants of the room._

_Luigi stared at the wall. What an interesting wall it was. It was red. The paint job done on the wall was almost perfect. It seemed to be smoothed out perfectly, but then there was an inconsistency in the painting. One area approximately four by four centimetres in area had an extra coat of paint, which made it look different from the rest of the wall. Or the wall was different from the small area._

"_Life is so exciting and interesting," thought Luigi to himself._

_But it wasn't._

"_No, who am I kidding?" said Luigi. "Why have we been locked in this room for so long?"_

"_Maybe it's like that movie where we have to kill each other and then the last person standing won," said Snake, grinning._

"_Nobody's killing each other!" said Luigi._

"_Yeah, that was a great movie!" said Jigglypuff, "And there was all of this blood everywhere!"_

"_Yeah!" said Popo excitedly, "I saw that movie!"_

"_I didn't," said Nana, "But I do remembered severed heads and what not."_

"_Yeah! And they killed the guy wearing all green first!" said Jigglypuff happily._

_Silence._

"_Uh… haha, what a great joke!" laughed Luigi nervously._

_Everybody stared blankly at Luigi, but then they all suddenly grinned._

"_I think you're scaring me now," said Luigi, uncomfortable._

_Jigglypuff handed out pocket knives to everyone._

"_Okay," laughed Luigi, "That's really funny, you can stop now."_

_Snake stabbed Luigi in the stomach._

"_Ow!" screamed Luigi, his blood splattering on the ground._

"_Okay!" shouted Luigi, "You can stop!"_

_Jigglypuff started to stab Luigi. And then Nana. And then Popo. And then Ness._

"_Noooo!" screamed Luigi, dying._

_Luigi woke up._

"_It was just a dream," said Luigi._

"_Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit._

"_Yes!" said Luigi._

_They danced a lot.'_

"What a crap story!" said Luigi angrily to Jigglypuff, "Do you **actually believe** that people will buy this book that's half a page long?"

Jigglypuff nodded a lot.

"And for **eighty** dollars?" said Luigi, hysterical.

Jigglypuff nodded a lot.

Master Hand floated in. "Okay 'Writing Club', I've changed all of the little clubs into soccer teams for my own personal gain, and now **you guys** will have to make a soccer team too, or you will have to join a cult where they worship uh…"

Master Hand picked up Jigglypuff's final draft of '_Hamlet II_'.

"You will have to join a cult where they worship this!" said Master Hand, trying to sound scary.

Everybody gasped.

"So let's take a vote now," said Master Hand, "Who wants to play soccer?"

Luigi, Popo, Jigglypuff, Snake and Ness put their hands up.

"And who wants to join the cult?" said Master Hand.

Jigglypuff, Nana, Snake and Ness put their hands up.

"It's five to four! You're playing soccer!" announced Master Hand.

"Cool!" said Ness, "When do we start?"

"Now," said Master Hand, kidnapping them.

_Match One_

_July 16, 2007-07-16_

_Writing Club vs Team Goodie-Two-Shoes_

They were somehow on a field.

"Okay," said Luigi, "Now for a soccer team to be complete, we need a soccer team captain."

Everybody put their hands up.

"Okay…" said Luigi, "How about I go captain?"

Everybody did their disapproval face.

"Okay…" said Luigi, "How about Ness goes captain?"

Everybody did their disapproval face.

"Okay…" said Luigi, "How about Ness goes captain?"

Everybody did their disapproval face.

The matched started.

"Okay…" said Luigi, "How about Nana goes captain?"

Everybody did their disapproval face.

"Okay…" said Luigi, "How about Jigglypuff goes captain?"

"Yay!" said everyone.

"Okay, Jigglypuff is captain!" said Luigi.

Pit dribbled the ball with the outside his foot, weaved his way around the congregation of still players and ran into the goal, scoring.

_Writing Club: 0, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 1_

"Yay!" cheered Pit's teammates: _Kirby, Link, Zelda, Meta Knight and Peach_.

"Okay, let's start playing!" said Luigi.

"IT'S A BOMB!" screamed Snake, running up to Link and punching him in the face.

Link staggered off the field.

The ball was now in the middle of Snake's two legs.

"Shoot for goal!" screamed Ness, Nana, Popo, Jigglypuff and Luigi.

Snake took out his gun.

"With your feet!" shouted Luigi.

Snake tried to put his foot into the trigger.

"No!" shouted Luigi, "Kick the ball into the goal!"

There was an empty goal in front of Snake. Four metres away.

"Aah," said Snake.

Snake kicked the ball right at the goal.

It took about forty seconds to roll in.

"We scored!" cheered Luigi's team.

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 1_

"Oh," said Kirby, sitting off the sidelines, confused, still eating his lunch, "I thought they forfeited."

Link's team decided to go on the field.

"Our kick-off," said Kirby.

The referee blew his whistle. Kirby tapped the ball gently forward with his foot, and then let Peach bomb the ball back to Link. Link trapped the ball with his foot, and passed the ball a long distance to Peach, who then walked through the stationary players of Luigi's team to score.

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 2_

Luigi's kick-off. Luigi tapped the ball to Jigglypuff, who then took a gigantic swing at the ball, looping over the keeper.

"Wow," said Link's team, impressed.

"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff's fellow teammates with the exception of the shocked Luigi.

Unfortunately, Jigglypuff kicked the ball into their own goal.

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 3_

"Jigglypuff, you kick the ball the other way!" said Luigi.

"Your kick-off," said the referee, giving the ball to Luigi.

"Jigglypuff," said Luigi, "Don't kick it into our goal, okay?"

Luigi tapped the ball forward, and Jigglypuff passed the ball to Zelda, who then did some unnecessary dribbling tricks before whipping it into the keeperless goal.

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 4_

"Guys," said Luigi angrily, "The idea is to **keep **possession, and not give it to the other team!"

"Ah!" said Snake, Jigglypuff, Ness, Nana and Popo.

Luigi tapped the ball forward. Jigglypuff gave a weak kick to Snake, who then dived on top of the ball. Link and Meta Knight attempted to tackle Snake, but Snake used his ninja skills to kick both in the face, much to their unliking.

"Free kick!" said the referee, confused and slightly afraid.

Pit passed the ball along the ground weakly.

Nana tried to stop the ball but she was several metres too far away.

Popo tried to dive in front of the ball, but he hit Snake, who then punched him in the face.

The ball rolled into the goal.

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 5_

"Yay!" cheered Link's team.

"Yay!" cheered Luigi's team.

"Why are we cheering?" said Snake.

"That's it!" said Luigi angrily.

Luigi passed the ball to Jigglypuff, who then passed it back. Luigi ran up the field while dribbling the ball, manoeuvred his way around Meta Knight, hit the ball between Peach's legs and jumped over her, and then kicked the ball towards the goal, which was eaten by Kirby.

"Nice try, Luigi!" called Kirby.

Kirby weakly kicked the ball into empty space, where a determined Luigi ran to receive it. Now with Kirby in front of him, he started to kick. However Kirby sucked the ball in just as it seemed to have been a goal.

"Nice try, Luigi!" called Kirby.

"Grr!" screamed Luigi angrily.

Kirby kicked the ball into space again, and Luigi instantly rocketed the ball towards the top left corner of the goal.

Kirby caught it. "Hmm… maybe we should start trying now."

Kirby punted the ball with little effort, and it bounced several times across the field, jumping over Luigi's team. It rolled into the goal.

"GRR!" screamed Luigi.

"GOOD JOB TEAM" SAID THE SPAGEHTI MONSTER

_Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6_

The referee blew the whistle for full time.

_**Team Goode-Two-Shoes Victory 6-1**_

"Yay! We didn't get thrashed!" called Snake, Jigglypuff, Ness, Nana and Popo at the same time.

"We didn't get thrashed?" shouted Luigi, "6-1 is appalling!"

"Oh well, at least we got these free kitchen knives!" said Jigglypuff, handing them out.

"Maybe it's like that movie where we have to kill each other and then the last person standing won," said Snake, grinning.

Luigi ran away very fast.

…

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"Yes!" said Luigi.

They danced a lot.

**The End**

Review or you will see more of Jigglypuff's stories!1

And I'll update if I don't get forty-three reviews! It's a very big threat, I'm being serious!


	2. Writing Club vs Team Koopa

Super Smash Soccer!  
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.

**II **

(or alternatively, VIIIX)

_Match Two_

_July 17, 2007-07-17_

_Writing Club vs Team Koopa_

"Okay, come on, guys!" said Nana, "We're in it, to win it!"

"What ever happened to the fun in the participation of a recreational activity?" said Ness.

"WE MUST WIN!1" screamed Nana.

"Shouldn't you calm down a bit?" laughed Ness uncomfortably.

"I'll kill Popo if you say another word," said Nana.

…

Nana killed Popo with a gun.

"You just killed Popo!" said Ness, shocked.

"Ah," said Nana slyly, "But you said something then, so I killed him ahead of time!"

"Well…" said Ness. "Uh…"

Ness used his plot device healing powers to keep Popo alive.

The match started.

"I have a new secret weapon," said Jigglypuff to Snake, "Duct Tape!"

"Yay!" screamed the team.

Jigglypuff started to duct tape Snake.

"Aren't you supposed to duct tape the other team?" said Snake.

"Oh yeah," said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff grabbed the Koopa that was dribbling the ball, and put duct tape on his mouth, choking him.

"Gaah! Help me!" screamed the choking Koopa.

The referee blew his whistle.

"Help!" said the Koopa, relieved, whose body was now being duct taped.

"No watches on the field, Jigglypuff!" said the referee.

Jigglypuff took off her watch.

"Continue play!" said the referee.

Jigglypuff took the ball and put duct tape on it.

The referee blew his whistle.

"You're still holding your watch!" said the referee.

"Oh," said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff threw her watch on the ground. She continued to duct tape the ball.

The referee blew his whistle.

"There's a watch on your ear," said the referee.

Jigglypuff took the watch off her ear.

"FFS!" screamed Luigi, dribbling the ball into the goal.

_Writing Club: 1 Team Koopa: 0_

"Substitution!" called the Koopa's coach.

An unstable Koopa waddled off the field. A professional, Spanish-looking bearded Koopa slyly walked onto the pitch.

"I am going to turn this win upside-" said the Koopa.

Jigglypuff put duct tape on the Koopa.

The first Koopa that was duct taped died.

"NUUE!1" screamed the Spanish Koopa.

The Spanish Koopa died.

"Half time!" said the referee.

The referee grabbed a Koopa and used an incinerating device to cut him in half.

"ha, ha, ha, get it? **Half** time?" laughed the referee.

Everyone stared blankly.

"Continue play," sighed the referee.

There were now only four Koopas left on the field.

"Go for the ball now, Nana!" said Luigi.

Nana took the ball, dribbled up the pitch and then hit a Koopa with a hammer.

The referee blew his whistle.

"You're wearing a watch," said the referee.

"I hate these stupid rules," said Nana angrily.

"Are you talking back to me?" said the referee angrily.

"I said silly, I hate these silly rules," said Nana.

"Continue play!" said the referee.

Nana ran into the goal.

"You need the ball with you!" shouted Luigi.

"Oh," said Nana, running back and dribbling the ball into the goal.

"Yay!" cheered Luigi's team.

_Writing Club: 2 Team Koopa: 0_

Bowser walked onto the field.

Everybody gasped.

Bowser walked off.

"Oh," said everyone.

Bowser walked onto the field.

Everybody gasped.

_Writing Club: 2 Team Koopa: 1_

"Oh no!" said Luigi, "We only have thirty seconds left, and we have to stop Bowser from getting the ball!"

"I have an idea!" said Ness.

Luigi's team formed a circle around the ball.

Bowser looked on angrily.

"Yay! We won! We won!" cheered Snake, Jigglypuff, Ness, Nana and Popo.

"We still have twenty more seconds, fools!" said Luigi, alarmed.

Eighteen seconds passed in a very dramatic way.

Bowser kicked the ball into the goal.

The referee blew his whistle.

"Nuue!" shouted Snake, Jigglypuff, Ness, Nana and Popo.

"Yay! I scored!" cheered Bowser.

"No, I blew the whistle because you were wearing a watch!" said the referee.

"I wasn't wearing a watch!" said Bowser angrily.

Jigglypuff put a watch on Bowser's hand.

"I hate you all! This is so stupid!" said Bowser, storming off.

"It's okay, Bowser!" said Luigi, "Everyone loses sometimes!"

"No, this stupid freaking story!" said Bowser angrily, "There's no originality or anything!"

"That's not true!" said Luigi.

…

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"Yes!" said Luigi.

They danced a lot.

**The End**

**A List?!**

_Writing Club: 1_, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6

Writing Club: 2_ Team Koopa: 1_

**Leading Goalscorers:**

Luigi: 1

Snake: 1

Nana: 1

Popo: 0

Ness: 0

Jigglypuff: -1

Epic.


	3. Writing Club vs Some Old English People

Super Smash Soccer!  
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.

**III**

(or alternatively, IIIIIIIV)

"Your next opponent," said Master Hand, "…is some random old British guys we've found!"

"Woo, I guess?" said Nana, confused.

The referee blew his whistle to start the game.

"Hold on a second!" said a man to the referee, "We must have our usual formalities of an introduction to each player!"

"Um… you go first, I guess?" said Luigi, confused.

"I am the captain, Professor Twidlick and I am leftback!" said Professor Twidlick.

"Leftback where?" said Jigglypuff.

"This is Sir Montgomery Hughes," said Professor Twidlick, who was wearing a suit. "He is rightback."

"Rightback where?" asked Jigglypuff.

"This is the Doctor, and he is the stopper," said Professor Twidlick.

"Stopper of what?" asked Jigglypuff.

"This is Professor James Farrel-Davies," said the man, "And he is striker."

…

"Shut up and start playing some football already!" said Snake angrily, snapping the man's arm bone in half.

_Match Three_

_July 20, 2007-07-20_

_Writing Club vs Some Old English People_

The referee blew his whistle.

A man in proper business attire kicked the ball forwards, and the man next to him kicked it back to another man in the suit. The man kicked the ball back to the goalkeeper, who kicked the ball back to the two people at the front. With Luigi's team staring dumbfounded, the man kicked the ball half a metre so another man could kick the ball to another man in a suit who kicked the ball back to the goalkeeper.

"Um…" said Nana impatiently, "Are they like, going to try to score or something?"

The British people kept on passing in the same tired circle.

"Apparently not," said Ness.

"Maybe we should like," said Luigi, standing stationary like every single other player, "Intercept the ball or something."

"Yeah…" said Popo, still, "Maybe we should."

They didn't. The British people kept on passing the ball repetitively.

"We need a strategy," said Luigi.

"Let's eat them," said Snake.

"Yeah!" said Nana, handing out steak knives.

"Woah, woah, woah," said Luigi angrily, "We're not eating anybody! Cannibalism is disgusting and I would never deem such behaviours acc-"

The other team scored.

"Cut the fat guy up," said Luigi.

_Writing Club: 0 Some Old English People: 1_

Snake tackled the fat guy to the ground. Jigglypuff picked up her steak knife and started to cut at the man's skin.

"I didn't really mean that!" said Luigi angrily.

Jigglypuff, Ness, Snake, Popo and Nana started to feast on the man's limbs.

"Okay! You can stop now!" said Luigi angrily.

They continued to eat.

"You're eating a human!" said Luigi angrily.

Everybody gagged in disgust.

"Snake," said Nana angrily, "When you told us we'd eat someone, you didn't tell us that we'd eat someone as in a person!"

"Sorry," said Snake.

The English, who were now staring at a body were distracted.

Jigglypuff took the ball, waddled along with it (the ball was bigger than her) and then punted it into the goal.

_Writing Club: 1 Some Old English People: 1_

"Yay!" cheered the rest of the team between their gagging.

The referee blew his whistle for full time.

"Look," said Professor Twidlick angrily, walking up to Luigi and his team. "I am appalled and ashamed to play such a _despicable_ and _dirty_ team as yours!"

"Well, I guess the dirty bit's right," said Nana, forcing Popo to eat the mud on the ground.

"I wish that you will be banished and banned by the-"

"Let's eat them," said Snake.

They ate him.

"You just ate another body!" said Luigi angrily.

Everybody started to gag.

"Stop doing that!" said Luigi, angrily. "You don't have to keep-"

"There's another body of a British guy!" said Snake, pointing to a dead guy, "Let's eat him!"

They ate him.

"You just ate another body!" said Luigi hysterically. "Stop eating bodies!"

Everybody started to gag.

…

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"Yes!" said Luigi.

They danced a lot.

"Look! A body!" said Snake, pointing to Mario.

"I'm not-a…"

They ate Mario.

"You ate my brother!" cried Luigi, "How could you, you sick, unsympathetic-"

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"Yes!" said Luigi.

They danced a lot.

**The End**

**A List?!**

_Writing Club: 1_, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6

Writing Club: 2_ Team Koopa: 1_

Writing Club: 1 Some Old English People: 1

**Leading Goalscorers:**

Luigi: 1

Snake: 1

Nana: 1

Jigglypuff: 1 (1 own goal)

Popo: 0

Ness: 0

Epic.


	4. Writing Club vs Some Nerds

Super Smash Soccer!  
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.

**IV**

(or alternatively, IIIIIIX)

_Match Four_

_July 21, 2007-07-21_

_Writing Club vs Some Nerds_

"These are our opponents?" said Nana, laughing, looking at a squabble of schoolage children who were slightly plump and most of whom wore glasses.

"Ness, they're your best friends!" laughed Popo.

Nana put a knife through Popo's spleen. "That's NOT funny!" she said angrily.

…

"Ness, they're your best friends!" laughed Nana.

Everyone chuckled nervously.

"Get this knife out of me!" moaned Popo, collapsing.

"Sure!" said Snake, lodging a wrench into Popo's other spleen.

"Ow!" said Popo angrily, "You're supposed to take it out!"

The match started.

Everyone on Luigi's team stared intently at the hurt Popo.

"Quick!" said a nerd, "They're distracted!"

"Use your Quidditch physics projectile powers to levitate the ball into the goal!" said another nerd, salivating.

They stood there.

"Hey, the match has started!" called Ness.

Jigglypuff ran to the stationary ball, picked it up and threw it at a nerd's face, knocking him over.

The referee blew his whistle.

Jigglypuff took off her watch.

"That too," said the referee angrily, "But you're not supposed to throw the ball at other people!"

"_Oh,_" said Jigglypuff.

"Free kick!" said the referee.

"What do I do?" said a nerd, panicking.

"Give it-a to me," said Luigi.

The nerd kicked the ball to Luigi.

Luigi dodgily toe-poked the ball towards the goal, which went in.

_Writing Club: 1 Some Nerds: 0_

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

"Get these knives out of me!" screamed Popo, who somehow managed to have three more knives in his spleens.

"I love you," said Nana to the nerd who was taking the kick off.

"Really?" said the nerd hopefully.

Nana punched the nerd in the face.

The referee blew his whistle.

"I love you," said Nana to the referee.

"Really?" said the referee hopefully.

Nana was about to punch, but Snake restrained her.

Ness took the ball and weakly hit it in the direction towards the goal.

"Hooray!" said everyone.

As the ball was rolling in, Nana ran it and whacked it into the back of the goal.

_Writing Club: 2 Some Nerds: 0_

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

"Not Ness's goal!" said the referee.

"But…" said Ness, shocked.

Ness, determined, took the ball and whacked it towards the goal. A fine shot, it curved downwards and hit the top left part of the goal.

"Hooray! Ness scored!" cheered the team.

"_How come Popo hasn't scored?_" said Jigglypuff angrily.

Jigglypuff looked at Popo's stabbed body.

"_Oh,_" said Jigglypuff.

"They have metallic bombs IN THEIR TEETH!" screamed Snake, hitting several people in the face.

They fell over.

"Those are braces," said Nana affectionately, "But it's okay, they don't have feelings!"

While everyone was struggling to stay alive, Luigi took the ball and hit it into the goal.

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

_Writing Club: 3 Some Nerds: 0_

"Wait… so I punched them for no reason?" cried Snake.

"It's oka-"

A nerd blew up.

"Oh," said Nana.

"Violence does solve things!" said Snake.

"_Actually, that's because I planted that on his teeth and-_"

"Yay! Snake saves the day!" said everyone.

"_Yay!_" cheered Jigglypuff.

While they were cheering, a nerd ran past them with the ball and straight towards the goal. Fortunately, due to his lack of motor functions, he tripped and hit the goal post.

A gust of wind blew the ball away from the goal.

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

The gust of wind blew the ball into the team's attacking goal.

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

_Writing Club: 4 Some Nerds: 0_

The referee blew his whistle for full time.

"Go wind!" cheered everyone, picking up the wind like they would pick up the winning goalscorer in those soccer/rugby/American football/futsal underdog movies and hoisted him on their heads.

…

But then suddenly a large meteor from several galaxies away shuttled down towards the earth, releasing small amounts of debris upon impact of the atmosphere. The meteor was so large the small bits of debris hit several small towns, destroying farmland and population. The meteor continued to rocket towards the earth. The navy was called to shoot the meteor down near impact, but it was too late. The gigantic meteor charged towards the earth and the pathetic gunshots did nothing but cause more damage from debris. The meteor was several kilometres away and shuttling at a fast speed. People around the world started to say their prayers, and in seconds, the meteor had hit. Everything on the earth that we had known as ours had been destroyed. Every single inhabitant was destroyed. There was no-one left.

Emptiness.

Nothing.

…

…

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"No, seeing I'm dead!" said Luigi angrily.

…

…

"Do you want to do a dance **now**?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.

"Yes!" said Luigi.

They danced a lot.

**The End**

**A List?!**

_Writing Club: 1_, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6

Writing Club: 2_ Team Koopa: 1_

Writing Club: 1 Some Old English People: 1

Writing Club: 4_ Some Nerds: 0_

**Leading Goalscorers:**

Luigi: 2

Nana: 2

Snake: 1

Jigglypuff: 1 (not counting 1 own goal)

Ness: 1

_The Wind: 1_

Popo: 0

Epic. (or in Spanish: .cipE)


	5. Writing Club vs Team Goodie Two Shoes 2

Super Smash Soccer!

By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.

**V**

(or alternatively, VX)

"Okay, after your several fulfilling practice games," explained Master Hand, floating onto the field, "You will now be playing in your first tournament!"

"Yay!" cheered Snake, Popo, Ness, Jigglypuff and Luigi.

"Wait?" said Nana angrily, "You've forced us to play a couple of games of soccer, why should we now play in a tournament?"

"Because," said Master Hand angrily, "Otherwise you'll end up like Yoshi."

Master Hand pointed to Yoshi's mutilated body on the side of the field, his head on the side as it was decapitated. There was blood sprawling everywhere, seeping onto the pitch and Yoshi had a blue fountain pen in his left hand.

"You mean we'll get a fountain pen?" said Jigglypuff excitedly.

"That too, but you'll also be dead!" said Master Hand.

"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff and Snake.

"That's not a good thing," said Luigi angrily, "You'll be dead!"

"Oh," said Snake.

_Mushroom Cup Qualifier_

_July 24, 2007-07-24_

_Writing Club vs Team Goodie Two-Shoes_

The match started.

"This is the team that beat us so badly last time!" said Ness angrily, "This time we're going to show them-"

Link took the ball with his foot, ran up the pitch and kicked the ball into the back of the net.

_Writing Club: 0 Team Goodie Two-Shoes: 1_

"I didn't even get to finish my motivational speech!" said Ness angrily.

"Well too bad," said Link, sticking out his tongue.

Due to the Arctic-like conditions on the soccer field, Link's tongue froze and he fell over.

Link died.

"Haha," laughed Ness, sticking out his tongue.

Due to the Arctic-like conditions on the soccer field, Ness's tongue froze and he fell over.

Ness died.

"Darn it," said Ness angrily.

"Why are we in the Arctic anyway?" said Luigi angrily, "What kind of ground choice is this?"

"Hey!" said Master Hand angrily, "We paid a lot of money to get this state of the art ground! And if you want to go around and tell me-"

"There's no lines," said Luigi angrily, "And the goals on their side don't even have any openings!"

"Shut up," said Master Hand, pulling Luigi's tongue.

Luigi's tongue froze and he died.

"Yay! You did something good for once!" cheered Nana.

"I've done many good things!" said Snake angrily, "I've donated to charity!"

"I was talking about Master Hand," said Nana.

"Oh," said Snake.

Nobody noticing, Jigglypuff took the ball and kicked it into the opposition's

goal.

"Yay!" cheered the people who were still alive on Jigglypuff's team.

_Writing Club: 1 Team Goodie Two-Shoes: 1_

"I'm going to do a celebratory dance!" said Jigglypuff, trying to rip off her shirt but instead pulling off the skin on her face.

"Ow!" screamed Jigglypuff, bleeding, "The lack of skin on my face is painful!"

"Hahaha," said Zelda, sticking out her tongue.

…

Snake dug a hole in the ice below them and drowned Zelda.

Zelda died.

"Haha," said Jigglypuff, sticking out her tongue.

Jigglypuff's already bleeding body froze and died. A large ice cube formed around Jigglypuff.

"At least I can't lose any more blood!" said Jigglypuff.

The blood in the ice cube continued to fill up and Jigglypuff choked on her own blood.

"_Maybe if I swallow my blood…_" thought Jigglypuff to herself.

Jigglypuff realised she was already swallowing on her blood and was choking on it.

"Nuue!" said Jigglypuff, dying.

"Come on!" said Meta Knight, determined, "We can beat these guys!"

Luigi's defensive goal was harpooned by a whaling boat.

"Yay!" said Luigi's team.

"I have a secret weapon, Snake!" boasted Jigglypuff, suddenly unfrozen from the gigantic block of ice she was in several moments before.

"What? Duct tape?" said Snake excitedly.

"Nope!" said Jigglypuff happily.

"What? Duct tape?" said Snake excitedly.

"Nope!" said Jigglypuff happily.

"What? Duct tape?" said Snake excitedly.

"Yes!" said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff was out of duct tape, due to the cold conditions (which made it disintegrate somehow).

"Oh," said Jigglypuff, disappointed, "I guess I'll just have to use this rifle then as our secret weapon."

"A rifle?" said Snake excitedly.

Snake took the rifle and shot everyone in the feet, including his own teammates.

The referee stared, shocked.

"Uh… that's got to be a red car-"

Snake picked up the referee with one hand and pulled him up to his face, gnashing his teeth in an intimidating manner.

"I guess you guys win by default seeing that your team still has one standing up player, and they don't!" said the referee nervously.

"Yay!" cheered Luigi's team.

**Writing Club advances to the second round!**

"Are you going to put me down now?" chuckled the referee nervously.

Snake kept on glaring angrily at the referee, still holding him up with one hand in the air.

Snake bit off the referee's head.

Everyone stare in shock.

"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario to the dead referee, wearing a pink flower suit.

The referee did not respond, as he was dead.

"Do you want to do a dance **now**?" said Mario to the dead referee, wearing a pink flower suit.

The referee did not respond, as he was dead.

"Oh," said Mario.

**The End**

**A List?!**

_Writing Club: 1_, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6

Writing Club: 2_ Team Koopa: 1_

Writing Club: 1 Some Old English People: 1

Writing Club: 4_ Some Nerds: 0_

Writing Club: 1,_ Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 1 _(win by default!)

**Leading Goalscorers:**

Jigglypuff: 2 (1 own goal)

Luigi: 2

Nana: 2

Snake: 1

Ness: 1

_The Wind: 1_

Popo: 0

Epic. (or in Latvian: Frog.)


End file.
